Journalling on the Earth – YTT

By @Chervelle.Camille, Semperviva 200 hour Yoga Teacher Training student.

It was the beginning of week 2 in yoga teacher training, and emoted inwardly was “I can’t believe I am doing this!” Even though ‘this’ was exactly what spearheaded the decision of pursuing yoga to a degree that runs further than only a weekly practice.

This winter catalogs the one-year anniversary of my own metamorphic transformation. The foundation began with being more cognisant of the nutrients I digested thus altering my eating habits; while and actively participating in daily trainings and workouts formed my new frame and structure, like the walls of a precious stone. I was breathing and alive again, in many ways: body, mind, and soul. With a confidence that once felt like a distant memory.

Each day, my fitness community encouraged me to believe more of myself. Every endorphin ounce of sweat increased a confidence that lead into “I can” mode. A posture that channeled the trajectory of my career.

Never did I ever think yoga was the path for me. Yes, it was a practice intertwined with daily workouts. But, never was it more than that.

Now it is the purpose to my actions. Now I get to take this work that is internal and learn how to ‘teach’ it to others.

A year ago, I said yes to healing this body of mine by concentrating on the breath. Physical activity has taught me a lot about breathing. Yoga, has done so even more. With the deepening of my practice, I love that I get to learn something new about life and most importantly of myself.

It is not lost on me of how fortunate I am to be able to study the art of being a yoga teacher. I came into this program without any expectations, but with an open mind and the will to learn.

Following back to the top of week 2 in training, there was a thought began to lay carefully in my mind, “Why did you choose to return? What was your reasoning? Was it for self-actualisation, clarity, or awareness?” So, before signing in my fellow peers (all 47 of us!) in to training, and before heading in to practice Vinyasa with Sarah, I sat with my journal and wrote out what my mind chewed on.

I choose to return to this class today to deepen my practice of yoga –the physical and the mindful awareness. I desire to move poetically, and to contemplate, and to let my body answer the questions that my mind seeks. My yoga practice is leading me into a deeper sense of my self and of my spirit. By returning, I am choosing to practice on purpose, creating a sadhana ritural. A spiritual endeavor leading me to my divine nature…to my life’s purpose.

I choose to return to week 2 of yoga teacher training to nurture this ever growing self and to further educate this ever developing mind. Coming to me in a knowing sense, and flowing through me in various forms of creativity, service, and ability. There is a wealth of knowledge and potential waiting to be shared. This is a challenge faced with many questions like “why do I want to teach? How do I keep this teaching sustainable? Is it worth it? How will I know what to do…with my students…with myself…with teaching a class? How do I stay inspired?” Truth is, I don’t know the answers to these questions, nor can the faculty answer them for me, but they surely can help guide me there. By returning, I am choosing to go deep into the heart of teaching and to that place of ‘knowing’. By returning, I am choosing to commit myself to a life changing experience.

Naturally, I took this contemplation beyond myself. While conversing with my fellow peers, I subtly asked them “why did they return?” The collective consensus was that they love the notion that yoga is accessible. I could not agree more

The faculty here at Semperviva embodies a wealth of knowledge and experience. Not only are they educating us on the parameters and the fundamentals of yoga, they teach us the realities and disciplines that it conveys.

We are now entering our third week of training. I don’t know what to expect, but what I know for sure is that my knowledge and awareness will deepen.

So I ask you, why did you return today? To your mat, to your life, to this space? What was your reason?

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